Diary of a Fashion Expat

By Laura Flanagan

05.12.20

In this multi-part series, British Designer turned Buyer, Laura Flanagan, documents her journey through the Fashion Industry and working as an expat around the world. The story begins with a chronicle of some of the challenges she faced finding the right fashion program in University. In future installments she writes about interning in Paris, designing in Hong Kong, and now working as a Senior Buyer in her current home of Sydney Australia.

Intro

“Five years ago, I left my life behind in the UK to start a new adventure in Hong Kong. I’m now writing this sitting on the balcony of my Sydney apartment, 10,000 miles away from my home in Northern England”.

For the past 10 years I’ve navigated the skyscraper highs and “in-the-gutter” lows of the fashion industry. My career has been a journey that has taken me around the world. It’s given me friends for life, taught me many invaluable skills and led to countless unforgettable experiences. But at times it has also challenged my sense of morality - making me question whether I’m on the right path.

I think back to the early days, just out of uni, living out of a suitcase for months on end - my starting salary no match for the imposing London rents. It was the first time I’d have to choose between sacrificing quality of life in pursuit of my passion - but it wouldn’t be the last. It was the beginning of a life that has sometimes pushed me to extremes which my friends with cushy 9-5’s will never understand.

Even after 10 years, there are still moments when I’m fighting back tears of disbelief, wondering how can this industry be so cut-throat? But there are also the moments while flying business class on my way to shop for the latest trends in some far away country, pinching myself - thinking this feels too good to be a paid job.

I’ve ridden this rollercoaster for 10 years, but I don’t want to get off yet - unwilling to let go of the creative drive it brings to my life. I’m halfway around the world, but my journey has just begun.

“I didn't engage much with fellow students in my halls that term. Many of them had come from high-profile public schools around the UK, and were confused as to why I hadn't taken the typical gap year to South-East Asia and on to Australia.”

The University Years| Changing Expectations

My interest in fashion didn’t start like the films - a starry-eyed young girl watching my mum on her sewing machine, dreaming one day I would make beautiful dresses like her.

It was rather more mundane. I was in sixth form, living in a suburb of Manchester England, and my favorite subject was art. In my art classes which I adored, I remember growing a particular fondness for manipulating synthetic fabrics with a soldering iron - I found it surprisingly soothing. At seventeen I knew I wanted to keep this creative spark alive, but it would take some “commercial finessing” before I could turn it into a true ‘career’. So I decided to pursue my studies in fashion.

When the time came to choose a Uni, coming from a small suburban town I was far too scared to make the move to London. Besides, the pretentious reputation of the fashion schools there really put me off - not to mention the ‘London prices’. Eventually I settled on a University in Leeds, pursuing a BA Hons Fashion Communications. And off to Leeds I went.

Like most first-year students, I arrived with a mixture of excitement and nerves, but full of optimism above all. Looking back, there was probably a fair bit of naivety as well. My goal of pursuing my creative dreams was becoming a reality. I envisaged it would be like a full-time version of my beloved art classes - just with a more fashion focused direction. Unfortunately, I learned pretty quickly this wouldn’t be the case.

Maybe my expectations were too high from the beginning. The school had a beautiful campus and gorgeous Pinterest-worthy design studios. I recall all of the excited conversations in the sixth form common room about how amazing university would be, and the incredible experiences I would have there. But the reality was not what I had envisaged at all.

I fell flat that first term.

“Heading home for Christmas, there was a nagging feeling inside of me that wouldn't go away. My gut was telling me this wasn't right. I needed to leave.”

When picking courses we were encouraged to select electives that were more academically focused. Of course I had my heart set on the photography class. But instead we were all firmly pushed to pick the marketing one. The course felt anonymous. It was a mix of unenthusiastic tutors, and lectures packed with hundreds of people. Even after settling in and immersing myself in my studies, I felt lost and empty.

I’ll never forget the overwhelming feeling of social anxiety the first day walking into the 500 person lecture theatre for my Psychology class. The professor read off of a powerpoint slide. Of course almost everybody was too terrified to ask a question in front of that many people. It was all so remote and robotic. I felt like I could study this online without even turning up for class. I longed for that personal connection I had in my art classes, bouncing ideas off of peers and teachers.

I didn't engage much with fellow students in my halls that term. Many of them had come from high-profile public schools around the UK, and were confused as to why I hadn't taken the typical gap year to South-East Asia and on to Australia. Little did they know I barely had enough money to get through my first term, let alone independently fund a trip like that.

Heading home for Christmas, there was a nagging feeling inside of me that wouldn't go away. My gut was telling me this wasn't right. I needed to leave.

Back home I was happy to be back with my lifelong friends and my then boyfriend (we were doing long distance between Leeds and Manchester at that time).

I had some tough decisions to make. I knew I didn't really want to go back to Leeds. The course had left me feeling uninspired, and I didn't particularly enjoy living there. So with caution, I began emailing my second choice university - a leading design school in Newcastle. Their program seemed much more aligned to my original goals. It was a lot more intimate and creative. I felt a glimmer of hope when I saw the email reply from the course leader.

“I would always say to somebody who is unsure about their journey - whatever it is, if it doesn't feel right, it usually isn't.”

Second Term

After Christmas break I returned to Leeds. I attempted to carry on with business as usual until I made a final decision. But during that second term I just couldn’t find the motivation to go to any of my lectures. Instead, I sat in bed all day watching the OC box set (with an excellent selection of snacks!). While this was a great way to kill time, it wasn’t what I was paying my tuition fees for. This behaviour was so out of character for me. I had been so driven before this. I knew it was time to go.

In a last bid to avoid the inevitable, I emailed my university to tell them I was considering leaving but hoped to discuss possible alternative options. They didn’t have any proposal for me. My decision was confirmed. I felt so much happier the moment I signed the departure forms.

Managing my parent’s reaction wasn’t easy of course, but eventually I got them on board. My plan was set. I would leave the university in Leeds after just slightly over one term, and join the design school in Newcastle the following year. Initially I considered joining the course part way through the year and try to play catch up, but my gut feeling told me to give myself a break.

I was happy to move back in with my parents in Manchester. I got a job as a waitress straight away. Tips were good enough to help pay for a long trip to Europe with a friend that summer. It was exactly what I needed. Upon returning I was ready to gear up for the move to Newcastle.

Newcastle | Photo by Shaun Darwood on Unsplash — *Newcastle | Photo by* *Shaun Darwood* on *Unsplash*

Take two, I’m in Newcastle, ready to give this Fashion degree business a second chance. Within days I knew I had made the right decision. The student halls were newly built and had a wonderful view of the Tyne river quayside. The beautiful BALTIC Contemporary Art Centre and Sage Music Hall were visible from my bedroom window. The architecture of Newcastle amazed me and the friendliness of the locals was such a joy. I had clicked with other students on my course, and the content inspired me. It was exactly what I was looking for.

I was very happy with my choice to give Uni a second chance, and felt excited again for what lay ahead.

Even though things hadn't gone to plan during my year in Leeds, there were still many good things that came out of it. Leaving a degree that I didn't feel engaged in was certainly one of the best decisions I’ve made. I would always say to somebody who is unsure about their journey - whatever it is, if it doesn't feel right, it usually isn't.

Find out what happened to Laura next in Part 2 of ‘The University Years’

By Laura Flanagan

Edited by David Polinow & Emma Golley